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Learning in Families Together: School-Age Children and Bullying

ID

FCS-56P

Authors as Published

Authored by Karen DeBord, Crystal Tyler-Mackey

EXPERT REVIEWED

Picture of a sad girl sitting alone and two other girls in the background talking to each other.

Bullying is when a child is the target of repeated negative actions by someone else.

Parenting Tips

  • Young children are naturally self-centered, meaning that they don’t understand others’ feelings. Hurtful remarks are part of conflict at any age.
  • Recognize when it is true bullying. A quarrel or a one-time fight is not bullying. In bullying, the bully repeatedly displays more power than the victim does.
  • A boy who is a bully at age 8 is three times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 30 and less likely than others to finish college and locate a good job. Girls who bully are more likely to raise children who bully.
  • Cyberbullying — when hurtful texting, email, embarrassing photos, and rumors are posted is a growing concern.

Together Time

Parents should stop bullying before someone gets hurt. Take children’s complaints of bullying seriously. Listen.

Encourage children to talk about school, social events, other kids in class, and the walk or ride to and from school so you can identify any problems they may be having.

Children can learn to bully. Don’t bully your children physically or verbally. Do not yell at or ignore your children when they misbehave. Praise their kindness toward others. Let them know that kindness is valued.

Explore safe ways to use technology. Know where kids visit online. “Friend” your child on social media but manage any difficulties offline.

Set limits for technology usage. See stopbullying.gov for more information.

Teaching Time

Teach children bully-prevention strategies, including:

  • Ignore the bully.
  • Pretend not to hear what they say.
  • Walk away quickly.
  • Use body language to look strong.
  • Shout, “Go away!” as loudly as possible.
  • Always tell a trusted adult if you are bullied.

Learning Time

Watch for symptoms that your children may be bullying victims; withdrawal, a drop in grades, torn clothing, or a need for extra money or supplies may be signs.

  • Tell the school or organization immediately if you think your child is being bullied so that adults can monitor the activities.
  • Work with other parents to ensure that neighborhood children are supervised closely on their way to and from school.

Virginia Cooperative Extension materials are available for public use, reprint, or citation without further permission, provided the use includes credit to the author and to Virginia Cooperative Extension, Virginia Tech, and Virginia State University.

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Publication Date

April 6, 2021

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